Why I Stopped Running

I realized why I started running, and why, when I got home, I stopped. I started running the day I broke up with you. Not even an hour after we spoke, my feet were hitting the treadmill, and the sweat poured down my face so there wasn't anything left for the tears to form. I didn't run munch when we got back together, and then, for some reason, I started running again when I saw you. I don't know why, but I poured myself into running instead of into our relationship. I decided to focus on me being happy instead of us being happy, and then I neglected you. I forgot that I needed to work on us in order to have an us. And I kept running because it made me happy; it made me skinny; it was something easy that I could control. And then running stopped making me happy, and I felt everything. The pain from when you broke up with me, the loneliness surrounding me, and the demons I'd been fighting to ignore all that time. Then I found help and happiness and hope without running and without you, and I realized I could be happy with running and with you.